This morning I had a really tough run. I set out to do 10km and, although I just about managed it, I really struggled - even at an easy pace. I felt really tired afterwards and my legs hurt by the evening - not just a bit achy but really bruised-feeling.
It came as a bit of a shock to me as things have been going really well recently. I've been regularly running 10 miles plus and totalled over 50 miles last week for the first time ever. My long runs had felt long but enjoyable. My fast runs were tough but satisfying. Then, boom, I found myself really struggling.
So, like any good runner should, I spent the whole day beating myself up over it.
The thing is, I know that I ran further than ever before last week. I know that I've been steadily increasing my mileage for a couple of months before that. I know that I've had a couple of really late nights and that I'm tired. I know that I had a really good strength and conditioning session yesterday morning, one I really threw myself into, so my body has good reason to be tired.
Objectively, I know that any one of these things is enough to explain my little dip. That didn't stop me berating myself all day though. I know it's daft because running, like life, is made up of good days and bad days. Without the bad days, there are no good days, there are only days. Without the downs, there are no ups.
I guess that, because I've had so many good days recently, I let myself be fooled into thinking that they were just everyday days. Perhaps I'd begun to think that I should expect all my runs to be that enjoyable and, if not exactly easy, manageable. It wasn't a conscious thought process you understand but, on some level, I'd obviously begun to accept that as my new normal. Then along came today and kicked me in the shins.
I have to be grateful for that kick in the shins though. It's reminded me that you can't get complacent. Like a good Buddhist, you can't get too attached to things - whatever they are. We know that getting too attached to bad stuff, like smoking or drinking, isn't good but we forget that getting too attached to good things, like running well and feeling good, isn't wise either. When we hang too much of our happiness on our habits, we stand a pretty good chance of getting kicked in the shins.
So thank you, crappy 10km run, for reminding me to be grateful for my good days and not to take them for granted.